First Time Milking:
What to Expect from a Dexter Heifer
See Sapphire’s very first milking, uncut. Learn what’s normal on day one, and why patience is key when training a Dexter heifer.
Milking a heifer for the very first time can feel like stepping into the unknown. Some cows settle right in, others dance, fuss, or even make a mess. The important thing to remember is that this first day doesn’t define her future as a milker. In this uncut video of Sapphire’s very first time in the stanchion, you’ll see exactly what’s normal and why patience is the most valuable tool you can bring to the barn.
The Build-Up Before and During First Milking
Commercial dairy breeds have been bred for generations to be “easy” in the parlor. Many Holsteins or Jerseys have little attachment to their calves—management prefers it that way because it simplifies weaning and first milkings. But Dexters are not commercial cows. They are intelligent, highly maternal, and fiercely protective of their calves. That’s a wonderful trait in a family milk cow, but it also means the first few milkings can feel like a rodeo if you don’t approach them with patience and respect.
On the first day, I don’t run through the full cleaning routine that I use later in lactation. For about the first five days, I skip the extra fuss. The goal at the beginning is not to make the udder sparkle—it’s to build trust. A fresh heifer already has plenty of new stresses to process, and piling on more unfamiliar steps can backfire.
Besides, let’s be honest—if the calf were nursing (I bottle-feed the calves of my milkers), she’d be getting dirt in her mouth from Sapphire’s teats anyway. Perfection isn’t the point in those first days. What matters most is creating a calm, consistent rhythm that reassures the cow and keeps both of us safe. The polish comes later—after she understands the stanchion, the routine, and what’s expected.
There are still new things a heifer must accept at the first milking: closing the stanchion gate, tying a leg if needed, and feeling the equipment for the first time. Even with gentle preparation, these steps can trigger stress. I’ve been fortunate not to have one lose her composure too badly yet, but every new heifer is a risk. This is where tools matter. Kick bars and leg ropes are not optional for me. A heifer can still get a shockingly accurate kick through the bars, and a leg rope is cheap insurance against injury.
For the first several sessions, I also keep the equipment as simple as possible. I don’t use the milking claw right away. Instead, I milk directly into lightweight plastic bottles. They are quieter, easier to handle, and far less intimidating for both of us. Once she’s calmer—usually by day five—I transition her to the milking claw and the full routine.
How did Sapphire do?
Sapphire’s first balk at the stanchion was textbook Dexter behavior. We led her out of the stall without her calf, and she planted her feet. My son stood just inside the stall holding the calf near the feed pan, and that eventually coaxed her forward. The time it takes to let her walk in is part of the process. Forcing or pushing her would make it a bad experience. Patience is the only way to win here. If the groundwork of stanchion training was done ahead of time, she’ll eventually relent. My trick is to lead her with her stomach—positioning the feed bucket just far enough in front of her that she takes the step willingly.
And yes, expect pee and poop. Even though Sapphire didn’t, it’s common during the first week or two. It’s not defiance—it’s a stress response, and it passes. What you absolutely must respect is the risk of handling a stressed-out, hormonal mama. A heifer can go from calm to dangerous in an instant. Body language is your early warning system, but even the best handler can miss a flash of temper. A quick headbutt can come before you have time to react. This is why I never recommend milking a fresh heifer alone.
The beauty is in the progression. With quiet consistency, she learns that the stanchion means food, relief, and routine. Each day she settles more. By about day five, most heifers are ready for the milking claw, and what started as a nerve-wracking rodeo transforms into a rhythm that lasts a lifetime. And with Dexters, that rhythm can last a very long time. It’s not uncommon for a Dexter cow to calve into her twenties, which means the patience you invest in those first few milkings can pay dividends for decades. Commercial dairy breeds, by contrast, are generally considered “done” around year seven. That longevity is one of the reasons Dexters make such exceptional family milk cows—they are built to serve a household for a generation, not just a season.
My Plastic Bottle Heifer Training System
One of the biggest reasons my first milkings go smoothly is this setup. I’ve cobbled together a few simple parts that make milking a heifer in those first few days much less stressful—for both of us. Trying to wrangle a milking claw onto a hormonal animal who wants nothing to do with milking is HARD. These bottles are so much easier.
The bottles, extraction tubes, inflations, Y connector, and bottle nipple all come from UdderlyEZ.com.
💡 Word to the wise: The gaskets, extraction tubes, and inflations are dishwasher safe. The plastic bottles are NOT (ask me how I learned this lesson 🙄).
Plastic Bottles
Extraction Tube
You'll need 2 of these.
Inflation
You'll need 2 of these to fill your extraction tubes.
Y Connector
Nipple
Makes feeding a newborn calf so much easier!
If you have a standard vacuum pump that is used with a milking claw, you'll need a few simple things to adapt your bottles to the vacuum system.
Brass Hose Barb Reducer
My system uses 1/2" vacuum line so I got a 1/2" to 1/4" reducer from Amazon. You can get them anywhere as long as they're barbed.
Silicone Tubing
You'll need 1/4" silicone tubing to connect to the extraction tubes. Much cheaper on Amazon!
Putting it All Together
First, I cut about six inches off my vacuum line. In one end, I added the brass reducer and to that I connected the silicone hose.
I attached this to my vacuum system as I normally would
**ATTENTION**
It is critical that you do NOT have your vacuum set above 10in.Hg. Higher vacuum can damage your cow's teats since the bottles do not pulsate.
The correct amount of vacuum is critical.
To the opposite end of the silicone tube, add the Y connector. Then add two additional pieces of silicone tube. This splits the vacuum between two bottles.
I'm using the tube from UdderlyEZ here but you can just as easily order 2 rolls of the black silicone from Amazon and cut one in half. It would be much cheaper!
Attach the ends of each tube to the extraction tubes and you're ready to milk.
What’s Normal vs. What’s a Red Flag
Every first milking looks a little different, but there are patterns you can count on. The key is knowing what’s normal stress and what signals a real problem.
Normal behaviors during the first week:
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Balking at the stanchion – hesitation or planting her feet before walking in.
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Shuffling or dancing – moving her feet, shifting her weight, testing her limits.
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Peeing or pooping in the stanchion – a common stress response that usually fades within days.
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Head tossing or tail swishing – signs she’s uneasy but still within a manageable range.
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Needing coaxing with feed – patience is key; forcing her creates a bad association.
Red flags to watch for:
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Outright aggression – lunging, charging, or repeated violent kicking.
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Refusing to let her milk down – tight udder and no release even after stimulation may indicate stress or a medical issue.
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Signs of pain – flinching, grinding teeth, or refusing to stand still can point to mastitis, edema, or injury.
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Total meltdown in the stanchion – throwing herself around or trying to climb out is rare but dangerous; stop and reset before continuing.
👉 The difference is important: nervous heifers can be trained, but unsafe or sick heifers need intervention. This is where knowing your cow—and paying close attention to her body language—makes all the difference.
Tips for Success in First-Time Milkings
Patience and preparation go a long way, but there are a few practical things that make first milkings safer and smoother.
1. Use the right tools.
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Kick bars and leg ropes – even a small Dexter heifer can land a well-aimed kick. Kick bars help, but I always add a leg rope for backup. It’s cheap insurance against injury.
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Plastic bottles before the claw – starting with lightweight bottles makes the process quieter and less intimidating for both cow and handler. By about day five, most heifers are ready for the claw.
2. Handle with calm consistency.
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Keep your movements slow and steady.
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Don’t rush her into the stanchion; let her walk in willingly with feed as encouragement.
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Avoid yelling, hitting, or pushing. That only teaches her the stanchion is a bad place.
3. Stick to a routine.
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Milk at the same time every day. Cows thrive on predictability, and routine speeds up training.
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Keep sessions short the first day. She doesn’t need to stand for a full milking right away—success is building comfort, not volume. If you're bottle feeding, by the second day, you may need to insist that she stands a bit longer in order to keep the calf fed.
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Consistency builds trust. What feels chaotic on day one often becomes second nature by the end of the week.
👉 The goal isn’t a perfect milking on day one—it’s laying the foundation for years of calm, predictable sessions.
The Bigger Picture: Why First Milkings Matter
The first week of milking may feel like a test of patience, but the effort pays off for years to come. A heifer who learns that the stanchion is a safe, predictable place will often become one of the easiest cows you’ll ever handle.
With Dexters, that patience is an even greater investment because of their extraordinary longevity. It’s not uncommon for a Dexter cow to calve well into her twenties. That means the foundation you lay in her first few days as a milker can reward you for decades.
Commercial dairy breeds, by contrast, are usually considered “done” around year seven. They’ve been bred for maximum output at the expense of longevity and maternal instinct. Dexters are the opposite: intelligent, maternal, and built to serve as true family milk cows.
When you stand beside a fresh heifer in the stanchion, remember that you’re not just training her for today’s milking. You’re shaping habits and trust that can carry through twenty years or more. It really is time well invested.
Conclusion
Milking a Dexter heifer for the first time is rarely perfect, but it doesn’t need to be. What matters most is building trust, setting a calm routine, and remembering that nervous behaviors in the first few days are normal. With patience and consistency, the shuffle of a fresh heifer quickly transforms into the steady rhythm of a seasoned family cow.
The video of Sapphire’s first milking shows the reality—no filters, no highlight reel. That reality is what makes Dexters so special: their intelligence, their maternal instincts, and their ability to become reliable milk cows for decades when handled with care.